When Anxiety Goes Awry
I recently saw the Pixar film, Inside Out 2. It continues the story of Riley, the protagonist, and follows her into her teenage years when a new group of emotions show up without warning. Joy, Sadness, Disgust, and Anger are caught off guard and end up butting heads with the new emotions. Among them, Anxiety comes in with loads of baggage - literally - and takes control of Riley’s life. You can imagine the end result is, well… disastrous.
You likely don’t need a Pixar film and animated, personified emotions to tell you about anxiety. For some, it might be a familiar friend, one you’ve learned to work with and manage in various ways. For others, anxiety might manifest as it does in Inside Out 2, where it takes over, spins out of control, and causes you to shutdown, freeze up, or enter complete and utter panic.
*Spoiler alert* It’s not until Joy steps in and assures Anxiety that it doesn’t need to control everything, that they can collaborate and work together for Riley’s best interest, that Anxiety is finally able to let go and work with the other emotions in a more balanced, regulated way. Can you relate?
As a therapist, I’m a huge fan of parts work, or Internal Family Systems. Among the reasons I like it and find it useful:
It separates, personifies, and externalizes various parts - feelings, behaviors, or relational tendencies - so we can interact with and manage them more effectively
It highlights the hopes, fears, and good intentions of every part — yes, every single one
It helps us get in touch with our core Self, which some might call their wise Self, empowered Self, true Self, or something similar, through which we can help our parts heal and work together more effectively
That moment of tenderness and reassurance that Joy offers to Anxiety? I love that moment so much. Imagine saying to your anxiety, every time it arises, “Hello, old friend. How can I help you?” I’m a firm believer that our anxiety, along with how it manifests in our bodies, is trying to get us to pay attention to something important. For example, maybe we don’t feel safe. Maybe we need to identify how we’re feeling to our self or others. Or maybe it’s a protective feeling that means well - it’s trying to keep us from harm - but all we need to do is acknowledge and move through it in order to take a risk or try something new. Only you can discern what your anxiety (and your body!) is trying to tell you through acknowledging it, being tender towards it, and conversing with it.
Next time you encounter your anxiety, greet it with, “Hello, old friend” and see what it has to say to you.
